top of page

Dear Heidi: Is it okay to invite someone over if your home is messy?

A true friendship is steadfast no matter how cluttered or uncluttered someone's life may be inside their home.

Life is interesting because we are all different—we see things in our own ways. We prioritize differently and live life the way we choose. At least, that's how we hope to live.

Choices vary regarding how we live and keep our homes. There are neatniks, and there are happy slobs. Some of us pride ourselves on how neat and tidy we keep our homes — it's innate. A messy place can make a tidy person nervous, unsettled, and downright irritable.

Yet, others do not care if their home is a disorganized mess or orderly. Many of the messy ones do not even notice if their home is tidy or a wreck—it simply doesn't matter to them; it's not a priority.

If you are in the messy camp and you know it, are you comfortable entertaining in your home? Perhaps your friends are a bit disorganized themselves and wouldn't notice the state of your home, or frankly, care. But, you could have other friends who you are afraid might judge your home unfavorably.

Most of us enjoy entertaining our friends in our homes; it's a warm and intimate act to invite someone into your home. We naturally like to share our lives with good friends, and letting someone see how you live reflects how much you value your friendship.

Some people stymie entertaining due to a fear of judgment or a change in someone's opinion of them. If this is true, maybe you should reevaluate the friendship.

It is important to note that people can be complicated. You could have a friend who is embarrassed by their choice of housekeeping style and cannot bear for you to see how they live. They highly value your friendship yet ask you never to visit their home. If you experience this, respect your friend's wishes without judgment.

Keep your life interesting and be aware of your values. A true friendship is steadfast no matter how cluttered or uncluttered someone may live inside their homes.


bottom of page